It Has Been A While

From Halloween 2010

Halloween 2010

Elias took advantage of Halloween to give Daddy a scare. He had been having an off day yesterday. He seemed more tired than usual and a bit moody, so we were already more watchful. While napping his head began to shake and his eyebrows moved up and down rapidly. Within seconds his head was shaking faster. Initially my heart sank, another seizure. I quickly began trying to wake him, with a single toggle his eyes opened I put my hands on his shaking head and it stopped. Thank God. Had it been a seizure it would have kept going. He did seem to have a bit of a headache so we gave some Tylenol. He began to feel a little better shortly afterward. We were thankful it wasn't another seizure and feel like he was feeling a really bad headache or migraine in his sleep. The head shaking was just him trying to soothe himself some. Unfortunately, headaches and migraines have become increasingly common. They are a side effect of his IVIG as well as a new normal, as we are told with the seizure problem. Neurology told us two things in his last visit with them. First, he is more prone to have seizures when he is asleep and potentially when sick. Second, we need to lower our threshold on giving Tylenol. Since Elias is non-verbal, while his communication has improved headaches are often disguised and difficult to read. We are all getting better learning the subtle cues. It is a process that we are constantly making progress. Needless to say there was no dress-up or trick or treating for Elias. We had not planned on the trick or treating anyway. First, he can't be out that much and second he can't eat by mouth anyway. Finally, being non-verbal and not hearing he has no understanding of what the heck holidays are anyway. Last year we sat outside for about 15 minutes with him so he could see the other kids dressed up. He didn't seem to care too much, hahaha. Just FYI he still fits in his Halloween costume from last year!


It has been so long since we have been able to update. It just seems to be getting more and more difficult. Time has been a premium and we have been in a survival mode with the loss of night nursing over the past few months. We have had to juggle staying up all night and then struggle not being able to sleep with appointments and therapy during the day. After 7 weeks we finally have some coverage, but staffing continues to be a problem and seemingly impossible for the agency. Unfortunately there is no alternative, they are still the only agency accepting vent patients. Our advocacy woes with them continue and their incompetence shows daily, but what can we do? We have caught them yet again in an outright lie about how diligently they are working on the case, but they don't care and there is nothing we can do. Unfortunately Elias care needs have intensified overnight and is much more critical with the seizure risk protocol. These are the doctors words, not ours and we are working with her to try and enlist her help in pressuring the agency over Elias safety. We have to try, but not expecting it to work. They have a mind set and it has not swayed in the almost 2 years we have been with them. The excuses are the same, yet there is no action on their part in an attempt to change and improve the issue. Instead they are content with being passive and using the same excuses repeatedly, yet contradicting themselves by telling parents 'we don't hire nurses unless they can work nights and weekends.' If this were true then we do not understand how there can be a problem staffing weekends and nights. The nurses that are working here have never been told they "HAVE" to work weekends, they were given a choice. When they said no, the agency did not push. They simply said 'okay.'  I'm going to stop there I don't want to get into a rant. Just know it is growing tiresome and it is frustrating knowing you are helpless to change the situation and at the mercy of a failing system. We are not the only family like this. We know countless families in and out of the area experiencing similar issues. While that makes us feel a little better knowing it is not just us demanding too much, it is sad that no one is raising a red flag for such a widespread issue.

Preschool - the past two months have, as expected been a learning experience. As we mentioned in the
previous paragraph and post with the look of our calendar the schedule is packed! We knew it would be busy and it hasn't disappointed. It would be more manageable if we were up 24 - 36 hours at a time. We have managed quite well all things considered. A lot of daily chores and cleaning has been sacrificed, focusing on the priorities, but that is what you have to do when you face challenges. The biggest issue has been scheduling. They all want to come at the same time or limit the days they can come. Again we are working through this and are making progress. We have definitely learned a few things that we will be asking to avoid next year and will fight to write it in his IEP next year. The biggest issue is the co-treats. While these are effective periodically between 2 disciplines, every time is over kill and ineffective. OT & PT especially. They often are competing for Elias attention when they both are here. They each have very different focuses and while they claim to do this often it is not working for Elias. He ends up running away from them and standing in a corner. It stresses him out a bit and very overwhelming to have someone work with you and then suddenly another person pops in the picture trying to make you do something different. You can see it in his face. We have addressed this and they disagree with our assessment. A few weeks ago the PT was forced to come out alone and she commented how engaging,  productive, and focused Elias was. We took that opportunity to stress our point again, but it was brushed aside it seems. The argument we are presenting now is that he is approved to have two 45 minute sessions of each, PT and OT. By co-treating he is being cheated out of time, given that each of them is battling for his attention. It is comical to watch, but the reality is it is not effective. We can't believe that no other parent has ever brought this up. He is only getting 90 minute session with both simultaneously with the focus is back and forth. Not the 180 (45 x 4) That is not giving him the time he needs, or any patient for that matter. He is likely not going to reach his goals on his IEP due to this and while it is a set back for Elias, it just may help strengthen our advocating point.

Elias development overall has been incredible. His communication is constantly improving, expanding and evolving. Gesturing and him physically taking us to an item he is requesting has become a knew favorite form of communication. Just like we use different methods to request things, he too is learning to choose from the various tools - picture exchange, gestures, signing - for what he wants. It is amazing to watch. His joint attention is also becoming more purposeful. We are beginning to work on getting him to understand that we also need to have the ability to decide when something is all done or finished. Not an easy task when you have no ability to explain why you need to stop and activity. He simply sees it as done. Impressively he has grasped the concept surprisingly well given that barrier. He reacts appropriately with mild tantrums or displays of displeasure consistent with a 'typical child'. His independent play has never been  a problem, and we are seeing continued growth in this area as well. Baby is a word he says quite often and he also says something that resembles bubbles. Bubbles of course being one of his favorite activities and one of the most motivating tools we have in teaching.  His saying these two words along with many sounds (ah, a, b, ch, du, da, eg, j ,la, lu, m) tells us that the listening therapy (Aural Rehab) is now showing dividends. We have some recordings that we are trying to put together to post. We have been doing AR for over a year and a half and the progress has been questioned more by the providers than us, but it has been reminded that this is going to be a slow long process. Once we all focus back on that point and see these things, most of which he has just started in the past few weeks it is reassuring and promising. It may take five years but if we continue to do the things we do and work fervently there is hope he will hear and even verbalize. That is truly a blessing and melts away the stress, mental and physical exhaustion. Elias continues to make us proud and thrive beyond expectations his medical limitations should have. There is a great deal more that we could share, as so much has been going on. These have been the key points. As always we keep on pushing. Thanks for your patience, your thoughts, and your prayers.

Elias' first word

You have to listen close as it is right at the beginning and quiet, but his Aural Rehab therapist has confirmed and acknowledged this is/was his first officially spoken word.....the word is BABY. It is proof that progress is slowly but surely being made and while it in no way suggests that Elias will be "talking" anytime soon, this is a reassuring sign

our persistence and aggressive therapy is paying off 

It is becoming more and more challenging to keep this blog updated. It seems as of late the schedule has been so hectic along with "stuff" (like Elias not breathing for example) just hitting us with the old 1-2! The fall isn't shaping up to be any easier, in fact it will be more nuts with the addition a preschool services here at home. We have been exploring other possibilities that might be easier, for instant - audio updates. If anyone has any suggestions we are open.

Since the last update Elias has had several more clusters of breathing episodes. Usually on the weekends it seems. It is as if he knows! Last weekend they began Friday at 4:30 and continued through Sunday Morning. So he has now had periods where he stops breathing 4 out of the past 6 weeks. This is the most frequent we have seen them in quite a while. All we can do is manage and try to keep the stress to a minimum during those times.

Elias has had a few sessions with his new speech therapist. It is a growing process and will take some time for them to learn to work with each other, but there has been some positive things already. We are working to expand his vocabulary with the picture exchange. At times the little stinker will turn it into a game of keep away as he smirks at you. He is a joker so watch out. In his listening therapy yesterday we witnessed something very interesting. She had a plane and a train. She showed and played with each individually with him. With airplane she would make an 'ah' sound before showing the plane. Then in the same manner did a Choo Choo sound with the train. She then presented both but rather than ask which one he wanted she made the ah sound, in hopes he would choose the airplane, and he did. We were not convinced fully that this was not merely a coincidence, so she did it again. Same result. So to try and substantiate what we saw she presented the two again, but this time made the Choo Choo sound. Elias just looked at her and did not do anything. She made the sounds again. After a few times he finally reached begrudgingly and touched the train, as if to say okay okay there is the train can we move on. So we are going to try that experiment over the next few weeks to prove it was not an accident. That he is beginning, ever so slowly to recognize even more sounds and correlated them to the appropriate item. If he continues to prove this theory correct it would be a HUGE step. So here is to praying it was real and effective.

Another issue keeping us from the blog updates is constantly having to chase down and follow-up on things that we are told have been done or should be done by various providers. One example, we are having issues once again with Elias' prevacid an the insurance needing prior authorization. The problem hasn't been so much getting the authorization in as it has been getting to the right person. This is due to the incompetence of the pharmacy providing us with the wrong information on what was needed, not once, not twice, but three times in the past 10 days. On top of that they have contradicted themselves in the information proving that at times they were just saying whatever to placate us and move us on for the moment. Ultimately this has cost them our business and frustrated the doctors office handling the PA, as they caused them 3 times as much work, most of which was not necessary. The part that truly angered us was not only the deception, but the lack of concern or willingness to ensure the information was communicated in a timely manner, as this medicine for Elias is potentially life or death. Why? One of the theories behind the breathing episodes is that reflux temporarily paralyzes the vocal chords, which creates a reaction causing him to stop breathing. He did have a cluster of episodes in the 10 days he has been without. Hard to say for sure, but if that is a physicians theory on the table for the unexplained along with very few others, you tend to take them serious, despite what you believe. Fortunately this morning we have filled the Prevacid and he will be receiving this once again.

This past weekend Katharine's mom and brother came to town for a visit. They will be with us for a week. Katharine's Aunt, Grandmother, and cousin flew up on Friday to surprise everyone. They were here until Sunday. It was a fun time surrounded by family. Elias was having such a blast. He barely stopped the whole weekend. He did have a blip on Saturday night, and was not doing so well, but bounced back by morning. Just reminding us that he is still medically complex is all. He showed off and demonstrated all the wonderful skills he is learning. The bubbles with the picture exchange for communication was by far the crowd favorite. There are some photos that we will work on putting up soon. We will update when we can and who knows maybe we will figure out an easier way. As we said we are open to suggestions if anyone has any.

A Hearing Moment

Yesterday we had our weekly Aural Rehab Therapy. There has been some excellent progress made, especially noticeable since the settings were altered – something we had questioned for awhile. The therapist had Elias sitting in a high chair and playing with various kids musical instruments. Elias was very engaging and interactive – especially beating on a drum! As Elias plays the therapist would make various sounds - The Ling 6 sounds in addition to what I call a throat trill – a high pitched rolling sound. The Ling 6 sounds are particular sounds that occur at particular speech frequencies or pitches. She would make them randomly looking for auditory response. Over the past 8 months there have been lots of, “was that a response?” Never that definitive ah-ha moment that everyone we have spoken to over the past several years has mentioned.

A Must Read Update!

This is certainly one post you do not want to miss! We have some information to share about Elias! Yesterday we had a marathon day of appointments at Children’s. One of those with Audiology. Our Aural Rehab Therapist helped us to get an appointment to re-evaluate Elias’ BAHA settings and to conduct a standard hearing test to see if there is any change in response.
The original audiologist that fitted Elias with the BAHA initial is no longer at Children’s, she moved – can we get a big AMEN! You may remember our issues and push-back we received from her when we questioned his lack of response. She was even rude to our speech therapist, telling her that she needed to know her role and stay within it. We have been trying to meet with the new audiologist that took over the BAHA segment. The past few months have not allowed for that until yesterday. We have added him to the team and he offered some interesting perspective. He really took the time to explain things as well as encouraged our questions. In fact he was very patient and prodding for more once we were done. We appreciated that very much. We started with a standard booth test. Here is a very controlled environment for ambient noise, frequency, volume etc – so nothing like the world environment. They placed a bone conduction device that was attached to some wires – allowing more control for testing and response purposes. Elias’ BAHA was not used during this testing.

Hearing & G.I. Updates

Yesterday was another Aural Rehab Therapy session. Elias was not having anything to do with the BAHA. He was throwing a major tantrum when it was on. We are still trying to decipher why it is he will get that way at times when it is put on. Most of the time he is carefree about wearing it. To call it an intolerance is exaggerating. One thing the therapist brought up was that maybe the settings  needed to be checked. She wants us to set-up an appointment with the audiologist that is now doing the BAHA cases. Specifically to test him in the booth and address that the settings for this are indeed the right ones. I became quite upset over this. They are now suggesting something we brought up multiple times to multiple people and were always dismissed as that not being a potential problem. Now it is? The inconsistency is annoying me to the core. So we are trying to fit that into our already crazy appointment schedule....

How Much Can I Cram in One Week?

Fire the idiot that does our scheduling! Oh wait, that’s me! What was I thinking? How much can we cram in on one week? I have no idea how I managed our schedule to get so out of control this week. Well this week has been a very hectic one. Elias had Speech, Occupational, Physical and Aural Rehab Therapies through the week. We also had IVIG Friday and of course, what is a week without a new problem or issue to contend with? Not to mention Katharine having to work an overnight shift at work, and having some doctor appointments of he own and I had a meeting with our nursing agency case manager. We are very glad this week is behind us, but the schedule doesn’t seem to be getting less chaotic anytime soon.

A Week of “New”

 

Elias has an odor from his trach tube. That is never a good thing and usually an early indicator of something bad. However and thankfully he was presenting with none of the other usual suspects of symptoms. We still felt the need to contact Dr. Wood, Elias’ pulmonologist. Our thought was possibly that the pseudomonas he is colonized with might be flaring up. Dr. Wood agreed, but since there were no other symptoms it wasn’t worth doing a culture. We would just treat this presumptuously, as Dr. Wood put it, because Elias can not be trusted! Especially when it comes to that tenuous airway, again his words. Elias amuses him and challenges him at the same time and he has told us on many occasion that he sleeps better knowing we are his parents. We appreciated that compliment coming from one of the worlds top pulmonary doctors very much! So we are giving him Gentamicin for the next 10 days in hopes that this clears up the issue.   

Aural Rehabilitation Therapy

Last week was our initial Aural Rehab Therapy (AR). It was more of a goal setting and determination session more than an active therapy. Which was actually a positive because Elias was not having the best of days for some reason. His therapist has been doing this for many years and actually helped start the AR program at Children’s. So her experience will be of value.